This is it.

The race is long. In the end, I have lost.

Footprints in the Sand

I would like to revisit a topic disussed quite some time ago.

While I am definitely a Muslim, I do appreciate the written works of other traditions. With any creative piece, I tend to appreciate them more when I am in a situation that relates to the topic of the piece. These days are hard; very hard.

My words do not directly reflect those of Mary Stevenson, but rather echo them in a style that is familiar to those who would have known me in my youth.

First there were two sets of footprints in the sand

Then there was one set of footprints in the sand

When times are hard and shit hits the fan

God doesn't walk with me

He carries me man!

If being a human is a physical experience for an already spiritual being, then I yearn for the experience to end. This place, this three dimensional space, this Earth is not home. I am hopeful that when I do reach the end of this experience the homecoming is pleasant. That is if the head of the house accepts me.

Taking a Break

Despite being an educator, I rarely enjoy the nice breaks in the day that come along with the career. Below is a video of a rare break from the steadfast academic hustle at NIT . In the clip, I'm enjoying a pipe on the patio of the cafeteria while looking at a small stretch of the Meccan Mountains. This was great pipe smoking scenery. However, the weather was not ideal for the activity at all.



I promise not to turn this blog into a YouTube film fest.

Saudi Arabia...The Journey Thus Far

I've been in the Arabian Peninsula for about two months now. Thus far, I have run into a whole host of things to discuss. Expect to see a variety of topics relating to my new home in the future. My hopes are to discuss life here as an outsider to Saudi culture; which has proven to be fascinating and frustrating at the same time.

As a non-Arab Muslim residing in Saudi Arabia, I adhere to a philosophy that is common among my sort of people. The philosophy is simple--We are guests of Allah first; and guests of the Saudis second. In an effort to support this philosophy, I will reserve my cultural commentary for another time and discuss the spiritual experiences this land offers.

Last March I arrived in Jeddah. Anxious to begin my career and prepare housing for my family, I immediately began touring my surroundings. Every time I visited business around my hotel I would ask them how to get to Makkah. This was the first time attempting to speak Arabic in an Arab state. Surprisingly, this was working out well. I understood that everyone was directing me to an area of Jeddah known as "Bahb-Makkah". Translated, this means "Portal to Makkah" in English. Within a week I found this place and embarked on a trip to the holiest city on earth. I had not realized how close Jeddah is to Makkah. Within 45 minutes via taxi, I found myself in Makkah.

Upon arrival in Makkah, I was in total disbelief. There are many moments in life I often feared that I would not live to see. At the top of the list was visiting the holy Kaaba in Makkah. The driver dropped me off within an eye shot of the Masjid al-Haram. Standing on the edge of the street with my eyes fixed toward the structure that surrounds the Kaaba, I asked Allah to accept myself as guest. After a deep breath I made my walk to the Kaaba.

I had not realized how large the Masjid al-Haram really was. Ignorant, I thought I'd see the Kaaba as soon as I passed through the gate. Instead, it took some time. I slowly meandered through the walkway and before any realization set in, I was there. Looking ahead I could see the Kaaba. Near disbelief, frozen, and perhaps out of my common mind, I just stood there. In retrospect I have no idea how long I remained frozen. In time I began praying. This was the first time there I had no doubt as to what direction to worship Allah. This was the Kaaba! And, it is right before me!

Later Allah had blessed me with the opportunity to perform spiritual acts such as tawaf (circling the Kaaba) as well as touching the black stone. Now, you are likely expecting to hear about a profound experience soaked with sage like words that would indicate some sort of instant enlightenment. Honestly, I wish I had words to describe the experience. If this lets anyone down, I apologize. I have typically remained quiet about my spiritual experiences. The feelings and thoughts inspired by the Divine will remain between Allah and myself. Thanks be to Allah for providing the opportunity to be a guest in the divine house; the Holy Kaaba.

In another week, I would return to perform spiritual rights such as umrah. My visits to this holy space did inspire some retrospective thinking. One thought I'd like to share is about simplicity. We spend so much money and making our houses sophisticated and luxurious. Yet, after visiting the house of Allah, one can see nothing but simplicity. Perhaps this is an example of how to mold our surroundings. Simple, yet aesthetic.

The blessings of visitation did not end with Makkah. The opportunity to visit Medina and Badr (see Battle of Badr) also manifested. En route to Medina, I was traveling with some friends from Texas. Our driver stopped at Badr to show us sites visited by Muhammad (peace be upon him). I felt a unique connection to this place. The battle that was fought there is well known. Perhaps my connection here had to do with my family and spirtual roots. Most of my family seems to have been involved in a military career and the shaykh who helped me grow spiritually was also a militray man in a previous career.

We stopped by a masjid built above the grounds in which Muhammad (peace be upon him) camped. Standing on hallowed grounds that the first Muslims experienced so much struggle created an unforeseen level of consciousness within me. Every step I made there, I could not help to think of the glory of the day of the Battle of Badr. I was fortunate enough also to take a few photographs of the area. The varying cultural establishments in Saudi Arabia frown on photography. In Badr I acquired some photos with little resistance. Photos taken inside the masjid were blurred, but nonetheless capture the essence of the day. Badr is absolutely beautiful. I recommend anyone traveling to Medina to make a stop in Badr and remember the struggle of those who fought for the religion we have today. In remembrance of those who struggled; May Allah open our hearts to Islam and fix our hearts upon Islam.

Departing from Badr, we made our way to Medina. Out of all cities I've visited, Medina is perhaps the most unique. Despite being a city in control of the Saudi Arabian government, it is unusually clean. Also, people there are surprisingly friendly. I found these to be unique features of an otherwise dirty and unfriendly country.

We arrived about twenty minutes before Maghreb prayers. Quickly dumping our things off at the hotel, we quickly paced to the Masjid al-Nabi. After praying I walked by the Prophet's (peace be upon him) tomb. This is another spiritual experience that is difficult to describe. Being in the presence of a prophet is something I feel inadequate to illustrate. However there was one beautiful moment I do want to discuss.

Exiting the Masjid al-Nabi, I was walking next to two Turkish men. The two men must have been in their late 60s wearing black caps and suit jackets with patches sewn into them. Watching them leave the area that housed the tombs, they looked as if they had just been awarded a gold medal at the Olympics. They were holding their hands high with tearful smiles. The three of us hugged each other, crying happily. This was truly a spectacular moment. After a few minutes of embrace, we said salam to one another and parted ways. It may have been this experience alone that made me fall in love with Medina. This is the city of Muhammad (peace be upon him); a spectacular place filled with much happiness and spiritual comfort.

These experiences have made my time here enjoyable and satisfying.

For nearly four years this blog has covered a vast amount of experience. It has been a blessing to share this small insignificant life with you. If Allah wills, we will share more experiences such as these together. With you, the readers, I will never walk alone.

Update once more...

Hi all,

I have made it to Jeddah. Unfortunately, I am unable to secure a steady internet connection.
I'm hoping by next week I can acquire an internet connection to supply some articles here. This place is amazing and I cannot wait to tell you about it.

Hiatus is nearly over

Hello all. I am dropping a quick note to let everyone know that the blog is about to be rolling again. Expect some cool new stuff such as a youtube channel and some guest writers (god willing).

Oh yeah, the ads are out of here now as well.

Expect to hear from me soon so stay tuned....

Goodbye for Now

Events in my life dictate that I must make some cuts in several activities. Unfortunately one of the activities to make the cut is blogging.

There is possibility that I may return to this web log in the future. Those who read what is placed here have been encouraging, critical, and inspiring at times. Thank you for listening to me. Although this chapter of the information superhighway is diminutive, it has been a virtual home for me for the last few years.

Recently I have learned that the subtitle to this blog is misguiding. Difficult can take a day. Impossible, however, remains exactly that. Impossible. Nonetheless the titles and graphics will remain the same. If this place is once again revived, I will take down the old banners and reinvent it.

I have never found solace, nor have I been inspired to take on creative writing. I failed miserably at it in college. Expression is a notion that I am disabled to perform. So it may seem silly that I leave you with this piece. It was written some time ago. I don't know why it was composed, but it describes how I feel.

Souls yearn to be free
Like the caged bird sings for freedom
The soul inspires to create
Alike they yearn for freedom

My body finds comforts on this earth
My soul is a convict of Allah's prison

Ancestors speak of spiritual experience
In retrospect the experience is physical
Every breath brings this soul closer to freedom
From the physical prison

Until my last breath,
I remain a soul in Allah's prison

One thing I've learned is that the road is long and arduous. Thank you all for being a part of that path.

The Realization of a Dream

WEB Du Bois once said "...before the Temple of Knowledge swing the Gates of Toil". Du Bois is my favorite intellect of the 20th century. His dreams and analysis of the largest displaced group of people the world has ever known were amazingly insightful. He asked tough questions and framed the most provocative one of his time. He termed it the Negro Question. When the world looked at African Americans as ignorant and controllable people. He saw something different. He believed in a culture of inter-assimilation. He envisioned a world where ideas and enrichment could be developed between the known civilized world and the descendants of the African Diaspora. Today, I compose these words as a testament to the vision of WEB Du Bois that has inched closer to a reality he did not live to see.

The following is one testament to history. Let these words be the rough draft of 21st century history. What we witnessed the night of November 4, 2008 will remain with me forever. I will tell the story hope, courage, and challenges. Most of all, I will tell the story of truth. History must reflect truth. My story is a mere incremental microcosm of a triumph of the most dynamic collection of people who may have ever existed. Americans! Be Proud.

Yesterday's election placed Barack Obama in the presidency of the United States. This is magnanimous for many reasons. For the first time a man of color will become the executive of a Western country. While there are many aspects of an Obama presidency that are worth writing about, I would like to devote some words on the issue of identity.

"If you fart, you stand alone."

Barack Obama is unique in many ways. In experience, he has traveled extensively. In upbringing, he is the product of diverse yet solid values. His name would stand out in any phone book. His story is so unique that it would be difficult to correlate it to most Americans. While his opponents worked hard to identify with the average American who drinks six packs, the majority of Americans sought for an above average man for the highest office in our land. We sought after a man who can identify with Americans and people all around the world. The majority of Americans have seen what happens when a man who identifies with the average man. The Bush years have been tragic due to his narrow associations with the simple minded individuals. America has been enlightened to a new identity. We have identified ourselves with a new above average man who appears special. Through Barack Obama we seek to form a new identity that reaches to a higher level than any of us could have ever imagined.

Obama's identity reaches me at a personal level. There have been times that I have wondered how my children will succeed in American society. On November 4th I witnessed a man named Barack Hussain Obama succeed to the highest office of the United States. This is inspiring for my family. If a man with a name that can spark xenophobia succeed in such a way, then I have greater hope for my children named Amir-Hamzah and Mirza-Hassan Ali. If I am so blessed to witness my children into manhood, I will tell them the inspiring story of Barack Obama who beat the odds of his own identity just like they may have to in their futures as unique individuals.

As I mentioned, this is a story of what I witnessed. November 4th, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning. I prepared some coffee and headed out to my local polling station. An hour later I would cast my vote and get some breakfast. At this point, it is no secret who I voted for. Days earlier, I had made plans to be with my friends from college to collectively view the election results in Columbus Ohio. All of us were euphoric about this event. No matter what happened, we knew this was a significant historic event.

When I arrived in Columbus, we met at our favorite cafe and remained glued to the television. To credit the character of my friends, I must say they are great people. A majority of them spent the day assisting voters who struggle with the English language. They ensured their fair treatment and understanding of the election process. As they returned from their volunteer efforts our meeting began to evolve into a bit of a party. All of us were more excited about this event than any sporting event, election, demonstration, or controversy that we had ever known. Our party began to gain momentum by mid afternoon and a young woman walked in to see what was happening. She told me that she voted for Obama's opponent John McCain. She was proud of her support and she was not admonished for it. Although I felt the need to enlighten her to the wisdom of my grandmother. In response I told her "Let me tell you what my grandmother told me when I was young. When you smile, the world will smile with you. If you fart, you stand alone. In this crowd you have just farted". She smiled when she heard this, but I informed her she is welcome to stay with us.

"The bleeding necks of those who were captured and hung from the trees of a once powerful southern oligarchy cannot be forgotten."

Minute by minute our excitement reached unmeasurable levels. News anchors reported that some historically Republican states were swinging for Obama. We cheered, clapped, and cried at times as the news began to trickle in. One of the loudest and proudest cheers rang when we heard that Ohio voters decided to identify with Obama. The last two elections Ohioans had supported George Bush. This was an epic moment that would lead to a culmination later in the evening.

I remember sitting in my chair in the cafe with my coffee and hookah pipe. I heard the anchor say "It is official, Barack Obama will be our next president". Not one person was seated. Claps, cheers, tears, hugs, and a collective sigh of relief was felt among all of us. The biggest underdog in American history accomplished the seemingly impossible.

I was wearing a plain white t-shirt. In the excitement and celebration people began to pass a marker and write messages on the back of my shirt. It was one of the ways we commemorated our coming together to witness something larger than ourselves. A few hours later I went to my car to change shirts. I wanted to see what all these people had been writing on my back. When I removed the shirt and looked at the messages my close friends had written on it, I was hit hard emotionally. In large letters, someone wrote "My Witness to History". For the first time, I too cried. The dream of Du Bois was finally realized.

As a historian I often ask one question. What did it take to get here? Barack Obama is our new president. To get here, the Gates of Toil Du Bois mentioned have been the hardest gates to open in human history. Before those gates a horrid institution and economy based on slavery had to be broken. Many died the worst deaths. We cannot forget the ill divide among racial lines in this country that led to this moment. The disparity of post slavery servitude cannot be forgotten. The bleeding necks of those who were captured and hung from the trees of a once powerful southern oligarchy cannot be forgotten. The Gates of Toil have been blood soaked, and I pray that the blood has not been without purpose. With this historic election we can hope for a just answer and reward for the hardest felt toil in the world has witnessed.

The people have spoken. Now the people have work to do in order to heal an eight year wound that cut our nation deep and has spread infection around the globe. The challenges are immense. Many question whether or not the wound can be healed. In the plainly put, yet inspiring words of Barack Obama, I have three words. YES WE CAN.

Lost in a Blizzard of Words

Hi all. I apologize for my extended hiatus from my blog. To sum up the events causing my absence, I have a few things to mention. I have nursed another leg injury back to normalcy, Ohio was ravaged by a massive windstorm that left approximately 500,000 people out of plumbing in my area and millions more throughout the state (coincidentally cell phone and plumbing was also out for thousands of Ohioans), I have staggered in the path of education, and a new job may be on the horizon. The list could drudge on, but I won't bore you with those details.

In other news, I also took a three day weekend and went hiking through the ark of the Appalachian Mountains. Upon returning I have had a small frame of time to examine the political climate across the country. Politics only makes a rare appearance on my blog. It is not a subject that I want to define the literature here.

Rather than tout political literature, I would prefer to present you with a comparison that I believe is rather revealing and thought inspiring.

Here is a recent interview with Sarah Palin. She is currently the vice presidential candidate for the Republican Party. Charlie Gibson is an excellent interviewer, however Mrs. Palin does not perform as well on the other side of journalism. See for yourself. I think this interview becomes much more interesting about seven minutes and fifty-five seconds into it.



Now I would like to introduce you to Caitlin Upton; a participant in the Miss Teen USA pageant in 2007.



Interestingly, the two have a lot in common. Both are former pageant contestants, and many Americans seem to relate to them for some reason.

My country is currently in rough shape. My disgust will not allow me to type anymore.